


Short Circuit

by bambi_lu



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Androids, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Robots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 17:57:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1753573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambi_lu/pseuds/bambi_lu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robots are not supposed to have emotions. But when Luhan is with Jongin, he can sometimes pretend that he is human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Short Circuit

_”Say something.”_

_“I am AI 0.013, the next generation of AI models. With unlimited access to worldwide databases, precision software, and a liquid nitrogen core, you will find that I can take care of all of your daily tasks without you ever having to worry about my system overheating or needing recharging.”_

_“Very nice. And how exactly can you help improve our daily lives?”_

_“You will never need to cook, clean, or drive again. I am programmed with emotional compatibility software so that I may look after the children, elderly, and sick. My physical body looks and feels like any human’s which makes me perfect for satisfying your physical and sexual needs.”_

_“Excellent.”_

_”What’s my name?”_

_“Officially, your name is AI 0.013. Why? Do you want a name?”_

_The machine couldn’t help but nod eagerly. His skin was still being attached, and yet he was still showing expressiveness that makes the whole process rather morbid as if he were really a human trapped inside a robotic cocoon._

_“Your name is Lu Han.”_

_“Lu… Han…” the name feels foreign on his tongue, and yet, at the same time, it feels calming to his senses. It is his name, and his name alone_

AI 0.013, better known as Lu Han, stared into the dark brown eyes of the man who rightfully owned him, recalling his face with precision from his memory bank. With a virtually unlimited amount of storage space in his mainframe and databases galore, he would never forget a face once he had seen it. He was the latest addition to the AI series, his predecessor being the AI 0.012 five years ago. While all 0.012 models looked the same, the 0.013 each had a distinctive feature which set them apart. Some may have even said that it made them more human.

He tried to keep his face expressionless, but it was hard to stop the smile that tugged on the corner of his lips. This emotion was unfamiliar, but he could recognize it as a distinct mixture of joy and excitement. AI models were not programmed to feel emotion; and yet here he was- proof that even those whose veins ran on the cool nitrogen liquid that powered their systems could have the capacity to understand human feelings. This emotion he felt now, this elation, was by far the most pleasant thing he had thus far encountered- opposite from the fear of being dismantled if he spoke out of turn and much lighter than the relief that he would live.

He had been sold to a wealthy socialite family whose son had suffered a terrible accident which left him unable to walk. Luhan had been told by the boy’s parents that he had once held a promising Olympic gymnastics career but that it had been cut short before he had ever been able to progress further. This particular morning he sat with the boy, kneeling at his feet as he gently massaged his legs. The family had hired him as a nurse and caretaker for their now crippled son, a young man who wanted little to do with Luhan. It had been no wonder that they had shelled out the money on an A.I. model.

Jongin had been belligerent when he’d first met him, going so far as to hit him over the head when he had somehow twisted the boy into a position that “hurt” him. Luhan had yelped in surprise, though his pain receptors told him that he was to react accordingly even though he could not feel it himself- though there was a faint sting on his skin where he’d been struck, and Luhan almost believed that it had been real. “Jongin, I…”

“GET OUT!” Jongin shrieked at him. “You fucking useless toy! Get out!”

Luhan had scrambled out the door in a hurry, not bothering to look back as he’d obeyed his young master’s wishes and left the room with haste.

To any normal person, they would have carried bruises and scars on their body and anger and resentment within themselves, but Luhan’s body did not mar in the same way, his mind was driven by logic rather than emotions, and his internal structures were strong though his skin was soft. He would not break. With every outburst that occurred, Luhan met him with a warm, kind smile that often had Jongin mumbling an apology or remaining quiet for the rest of his therapy session.

It wasn’t difficult to block out Jongin’s outbursts. If anything, Luhan was probably the most equipped person in the house to deal with them. His memory bank allowed him to access a variety of files which detailed how a person who had suffered such as Jongin had often began to behave as one of two extremes: either they would be grateful for their life and shout it to the heavens in a hallelujah or they would regret every single day that they continued to live. Jongin was the latter, and his anger was a manifestation of his own frustration at the fact his life would never return to what it had once been.

He could see the loneliness in his eyes as he gazed out of the window of his room and the way he listlessly flipped through television channels for something that would amuse him. He could see the way he became easily distracted when doing his schoolwork and how he ignored his teachers’ assignments in favor of spending a weary, listless existence inside the dim confines of his room. No one came to visit Jongin, Luhan noted, except his teacher twice a week and himself when he brought him his meals and helped him with his leg exercises.

And so Luhan worked tirelessly to put in extra effort with Jongin. He offered to help him with his lessons, brought him new games to play, and researched new techniques to restore some of the feeling to Jongin’s legs. He’d hoped that it wouldn’t be impossible for the boy to no longer be wheelchair bound one day, even if he did need walking assistance, at least he could regain some of the pride he thought he had lost (though Luhan didn’t understand the emotion of pride. Some emotions seemed nice to him, but that one came across as rather pointless in his opinion.) He didn’t care that the words cut too deep sometimes or that the smacks across the back stung a little too hard; it would be worth it, he decided, when Jongin could see that there was something to live for. Luhan would give anything to be alive, and he wanted to inspire that same desire with Jongin.

But wanting it and achieving it were two different things. “It’s a beautiful day outside,” he told the boy as he opened the curtains to his room. “You should go out and enjoy it. I could help you outside if you would like?” He turned and offered a smile only to be met with a scowl.

“Why would I want to go _outside_?” Jongin spoke harshly. “So everyone can ignore me out there, too? And why do I need your help? Huh? You already cook and clean for me. I might not be able to feel my legs but I’m not an invalid. I can get into my wheelchair myself.”

Luhan ignored the sharp tone, instead moving away from the open windows as he helped prop Jongin’s feet up so that he could begin working his hands over the soft skin of his legs. Soft- that was an interesting concept- Luhan had never felt something before that he could describe as soft, but now he thought he knew what that word truly meant. “Research says that sunlight cheers people up,” Luhan quoted directly from his database, hoping to change Jongin’s mind- he didn’t think it was fair to the boy to be kept in his room like some caged animal. And, truth be told, Luhan liked to go outside and see the sights and imagine what the smells would be like. It always seemed like such a peaceful place.

“I told you no. Are you stupid or broken?”

Those words made him frown, but he didn’t quite understand it. “No, I’m sorry. I am only trying to help. I’d like to see you smile…”

“Yeah, well, figure out how to go back in time so I won’t be a fucking cripple and then maybe you will,” Luhan remained quiet after that. His attempt to cheer Jongin up seemingly had the opposite effect, and he didn’t want to push any further and risk upsetting him more.

And still, every day, Luhan opened the curtains and offered to take Jongin outside, and every time, Jongin declined. Luhan had hoped that with enough persistence, the boy’s mind might change. In his mind (or wiring) he had a vision of Jongin smiling as soon as he saw the beauty and life in the gardens. He could clearly picture the boy thanking him and saying that he could see the same wonderful things in the world that Luhan did, that Luhan had inspired him to do greater things, but that was a fantasy, one Luhan, as an A.I., should not have been capable of having.

But yet he did, and his only fantasy was to see Jongin smile.

It had been nearly a year of working for the Kim family before he’d been granted his wish. It was on the boy’s birthday, and Luhan had hastily invited guests at the bequest of Jongin. He’d made arrangements and checked schedules, but no one came. Not even his own parents had come to his room to wish him happiness and good will. On the contrary, they seemed all too eager to stay far away in Shanghai where they could not be bothered by his existence. Jongin had said hadn’t expected anything, but the hope in his voice and the way the edges of his eyes tilted into small crescent shapes made Luhan realize that he still wanted it to happen, even if he knew it wouldn’t. Luhan didn’t wait for the guests to come to his room with a card and a cake. When he’d sang to him, Jongin had started to cry which had alarmed Luhan enough to have him stop singing, afraid of what he’d done until Jongin had explained.

“You… you’re a fucking robot… why are you doing this? What do you get out of it… Not even my old friends from the team come by anymore, not even on my birthday.” The wretched sob that had torn from Jongin’s throat had Luhan wrapping his arms around his shoulders and letting his fingers trail up into his hair, scratching the scalp affectionately. The cool nitrogen blood that ran through him turned warm in his veins. If he’d had a heart, it would have broken at those words. He couldn’t stand seeing the young man in such pain. The tears Jongin had held back all year were finally breaking free, and there was nothing Luhan could do to help. He found his hand moving from Jongin’s dark brown hair down to his jawline. He stroked the skin there comfortingly until Jongin glanced up at him, eyes red and puffy from crying. Luhan didn’t say anything. It was Jongin who moved first, pulling Luhan into a soft, supple kiss.

The kiss turned rough, the boy greedily seeking some symbol of affection even if it was with a machine. He’d mocked Luhan’s manual, saying that he’d never need to use a robot for some sick sexual pleasure, but there he was, moving his thick, plush lips against Luhan’s. Luhan was surprised by the warmth radiating from Jongin’s body. It seemed to seep into his very core and ignite a flame. Luhan wasn’t sure what, but something began to change within him. It was a small spark of something he had only felt once before back when he had received his name- a fluttering in his chest that made him both sick and excited at the same time.

It astounded Luhan how it all felt so natural as they fell against each other. Jongin’s body molded perfectly against his as he wrapped his arms around the android’s thin frame and held him there, bodies flush together. Their lips moved against each other, memorizing each other’s bodies slowly. Luhan’s hand fell from Jongin’s face just as the other man’s rose to his, cupping his cheeks as he held him there. And then they were falling in a beautiful mess of limbs and sweat.

Jongin was soft, he was gentle. He cradled Luhan and held him close, as Luhan whispered sweet words of love against his ear as he rocked down against him. Each roll of his hips had Jongin gasping for more, scratching and clawing at Luhan’s back as he pulled him in even closer. His mechanics were working in overdrive. Every touch of Jongin’s skin felt like electricity surging through him bringing him pleasure he had not yet known in this new body. He continued to move, however, until Jongin stilled beneath him and released with a sharp shudder throughout his body which reverberated within Luhan’s chest.

He lay there with him, stroking his hair out of his face until the heightened emotions began to wear away and the reality of what had just happened began to sink in to the human boy. At first there were tentative, shy returned kisses, and then he began to turn his head away in an act that confused Luhan. And then he was falling, his frame hitting the wooden floor with a dull thud. There was a sharp sense of pain that had him gasping for air which he did not need.

“You… what did you just do?” Jongin stared at him in a mixture of anger and disgust.

“I… you kissed me and I-“

“Why would I kiss you?” the words cut through Luhan’s non-beating heart, leaving him staring at the boy as if he were a wounded animal. He couldn’t understand what was happening. No amount of logic and reason prepared him for such treatment, especially after his master clearly indicated what he wanted to happen.

“You were crying, and you-“

“Me? Cry? Why would I cry, especially in front of a robot? Just go. You’re boring me.”

Luhan kept his head down, his fingers clenching into fists as his wires began to short-circuit. This wasn’t supposed to happen, a machine was not supposed to feel emotion. And now Luhan knew why. It hurt. All of the time he had spent trying to mend Jongin’s body and see him smile at least once, all of the effort he’d put forth into trying to make the boy recognize his existence as a sentient being, all of the beatings and screaming he’d dealt with in order to make sure Jongin didn’t see another day alone were completely and utterly pointless.

He put a hand to the machine which replaced a beating heart, feeling the ache deep within his chest. “I just… I thought…”

“You thought what? That’s part of your job, isn’t it? You told me that much the day we met. Don’t be surprised that I needed something from you.”

“You can’t use people like that,” Luhan whispered, unprepared for the harsh sound of laughter from the boy on the bed.

“Use people? You really think that you’re a person? You’re a product. A robot. You were made to be used.”

Luhan felt like his throat was closing up. He stared at the boy on the bed in disenchantment. “You… you… you have no idea how I feel.”

“You don’t feel-“

“I do!” Luhan felt his voice rise. “I feel just like any human does! It hurts when you hit me! It hurts when you call me names! It hurts when you treat me like an object! I don’t want to be an object! I didn’t ask to be born like this any more than you asked to lose your ability to walk!” His body was shaking, but he didn’t notice even as his infrastructure threatened to buckle beneath the intensity of what he was feeling. This wasn’t part of his coding, this was something bigger than his makers could have ever envisioned when creating him.

Jongin seemed to be at a loss for words. His full lips were pressed tightly together. But slowly his eyebrows softened and he the angry squint of his eyes became full with surprise. “What- Luhan… you’re… crying?”

Luhan barely registered the warm, wet tears that spilled over his supple cheeks. He didn’t think about it as he tore from the room, leaving a confused Jongin behind. He couldn’t quite understand it himself the way that he was reacting. It was as if something had been switched on inside him and now it wouldn’t turn off. He had wanted so much to live and feel alive, and yet now that he had, he almost wished that he hadn’t. He understood Jongin’s frustration now. He wanted to lash out and kick something or scream at the top of his lungs, but he knew that even if he did, it would not erase the hurt that settled deep into his core.

He huddled against himself on the floor and sobbed to himself, rocking back and forth as he tried to find a position that didn’t hurt. But it seemed no matter what he did, the pain would not go away. As he lay on the bed in comfort that he should not be able to feel- the gentleness of the sheets brushing against his fingers- he couldn’t help but think back to the boy lying forgotten in his bedroom. Jongin had lashed out at him again, had spoken so spitefully and cruelly to him, and yet this hurt- this was what Jongin experienced every day, wasn’t it?

It was hard to forgive being treated so poorly just because Jongin was hurting. In fact, the emotional side within him which seemed to have manifested wanted nothing more than to ignore the boy’s entire existence save for his job of acting as his nurse. He recognized it as spite, and ugly emotion that he decided he would rather not have within himself. He would have to forgive Jongin and continue to be the stronger of the two.

But that didn’t mean he had to act right away. He took his time in returning to Jongin, as a matter of fact, the next few days visiting only to massage his legs and bring him meals. The first of the days was spent in the most awkward of silences with Jongin not daring to meet Luhan’s eyes and Luhan refusing to initiate conversation beyond a ‘good morning’ as he usually did. In truth, Luhan liked to learn things about humans from Jongin. He would have him tell him first-hand accounts of stories of things he would never get to experience. He especially liked the way Jongin’s eyes lit up as he talked about performing back when he had been able. He liked to hear the stories of cut-throat jealousy and the politics behind those with golden aspirations. It made him feel as if he understood humans a little better, made him feel as if he might be able to mimic those emotions well enough to pass for a human one day himself.

And he was coming to realize that although he knew what pain was, it was still much better than not being able to feel at all, for to not feel at all meant that he couldn’t feel the happiness when Jongin finally spoke to him of his own volition. “Are you okay?”

It had taken longer than usual to register the voice, even with his enhanced noise detectors. Luhan lifted his head towards Jongin who was looking at him with a miffed expression while he massaged the calves of his legs. “I’m alright, why do you ask?” He couldn’t help but smile at the question- not only was Jongin talking to him, but he was actually concerned about his feelings, feelings that Jongin were now registering as valid and human-like. Jongin hummed in response, not following with a verbal signal, and Luhan continued about his work for the day in silence.

Each day after that, Jongin greeted Luhan as he entered the room. The atmosphere between them was still tense and uncomfortable, the unyielding reminder that there was an apology owed to the poor A.I. machine. Luhan may have continued working as his programming code did not allow for breaks, even if he was suffering internally, but that didn’t mean he was working happily. Jongin may have spoken to him, may have reduced some tension, but that didn’t mean that he had shown any remorse for what he’d done. Luhan wondered if he would feel bad about it at all. After all, Jongin was just reiterating what so many others told him. A.I. were robots without feelings… except Luhan. Luhan was different. Whatever it was that had sparked inside him, it had filled him with emotions- something entirely human and not at all robotic.

But when Luhan received his apology, it was in an unexpected way much in the same as the time he had seen Jongin smile. He was in his living quarters, a small room which he technically didn’t need but still appreciated all the same. He had learned to deal with the emotion of boredom by reading books, books whose plots and characters he knew thanks to his database. It may have seemed silly to some, but he did not read them for the exciting plots or complex characters. He read them to imagine that he was one of them- a human.

As he flipped the page, he heard a loud thud. Immediately, he stood and made his way to Jongin’s room where he saw the boy lying, face down in front of his wheelchair. He stood by the door, hesitating to move to his aid as Jongin cursed and pushed himself up. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks which were red with shame and humiliation. “Work, damnit. Work.” He was able to maneuver his body into a sitting position, and that’s when he grabbed his legs and started hitting them. “I said work! What’s wrong with you!? WORK!” he was becoming hysterical, and Luhan could no longer stand idly by.

He moved over to Jongin, kneeling down beside him, and was not at all surprised when his hands were swatted away. “I don’t need your help! I don’t need anyone!”

Luhan furrowed his eyebrows and sat back on his heels. After what had happened the last time, he knew the idea may not have been one of his best, and yet he could not just watch Jongin cry and suffer despite everything that had happened between them. He gathered the boy into his arms and held him close, allowing each wretched sob to shake through the boy’s body into his own.

And that’s when it happened. “I’m sorry, Jongin, I’m so sorry.” The words coming from his own mouth surprised him. He had been waiting for Jongin to show remorse, and yet…

Jongin sobbed harder against the android, holding onto him tightly. Hearing those words, Luhan realized, wouldn’t make him feel any better, not when he was seeing Jongin like this. He didn’t need the apology to feel somehow good about himself or to know that Jongin was remorseful for that day. He should have seen it back then, he thought, after all, he was programmed to read people. It had been his own awakening to human emotion that had blinded him to the reality of the situation.

Jongin, a rising star in the world of gymnastics, had lost not only his future career but his family and his friends who no longer wanted anything to do with him after he was broken. The only affection he could get was from a bought product- something he saw as only paying attention to him because it was programmed to do so. He had no way of knowing that Luhan had a true conscious when Luhan himself didn’t understand how it had awakened.

“Why the fuck are you apologizing?” Jongin said in a broken voice. “Not when I was…”

“I get it,” Luhan muttered. “I’m sorry that it took so long.”

Jongin pulled back, watching him with a cautious gaze. “… You talk just like he did, you know.”

Luhan pushed hair out of Jongin’s face and took out his handkerchief that he carried in case someone else needed it (being an A.I., he never had a use for it). “Who are you talking about?”

“I guess you weren’t told, were you?” Jongin smiled wryly. “I wasn’t the only one affected by the accident. My manager Lu Han… He died,” he didn’t meet Luhan’s stare. “I was… We were together,” he explained with a shaking voice. “My parents had you made in his likeness… as a present to me, I guess. They felt guilty for the argument we had, and when we were leaving their house, the car crashed and…”

The android stared at Jongin. His system felt like it would overheat as he began to see pictures and hear buzzing sounds in his head- brief flashes of forgotten memories.

“My name is Kim Jongin, it’s nice to meet you.” A much younger Jongin was beaming at him. “Let’s work hard and do our best!”

A chaste kiss shared in a dimly lit practice room after everyone had went home for the day.

A soft whisper of “I love you” as their bodies melted together on the sheets in a small one-bedroom apartment in the middle of Seoul. Luhan could still recall the scent of cinnamon and whisky that hung in the air that night.

“Jongin… It’s me,” Luhan choked. “Jongin, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault,” he pulled the other boy tightly to his chest, gasping in for air he did not need to survive. His chest constricted painfully and a sharp pain ruptured through his head. And then there was black.

_”LUHAN! LUHAN! WAKE UP! NO, DON’T TOUCH HIM! LUHAN!”_

_A distraught Jongin screamed from the ambulance as he saw the man’s broken body pulled from the wreckage. He fought with the nurses that held him down and thrashed his upper body about as he saw the men discussing something among themselves. He watched in horror as a sheet was laid across the man’s form, and then he was gone. His Luhan was gone._

_Now, the same scenario played out before him. He screamed and called for help until one of the workers came, a bit begrudgingly, to his room. Seeing Jongin on the floor with the convulsing android, however, had her calling the company to have someone come out for an immediate check._

_Jongin scrambled to reach the android’s figure as the men in white came, once more, and he continued to scream at them as they took the android away. “LUHAN! LUHAN, PLEASE WAKE UP! YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT YOU MEANT! YOU CAN’T LEAVE ME AGAIN!”_

_He lay, sobbing on his bed as he waited on some news. In what seemed like forever, but was in reality only a few hours, a man came inside. Jongin nearly jumped down his throat with questions, but he was immediately placated as he began to explain what had happened. “We are truly sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Kim, Luhan was an experiment model- as you know, the A.I. 0.013 models are not readily available on the shelves as our A.I. 0.012 models have been. They are all custom made, so there can be… flaws in the design.”_

_“I don’t care about any fucking flaws. Where is Luhan?”_

_“Some of his internal structures failed him. We are working to restore him to full working capacity while keeping as much of his stored memory as we can. However, we cannot guarantee that he will recall all of the time he’s spent here- we will only know when he is rebooted.”_

_“So… he’s okay, then?” Jongin was still tense, but he felt some relief._

_“Yes, he’s going to be alright. He should be returned to the manor within three days’ time. Thank you for your patience, Mr. Kim. I am very sorry about this.”_

_The man stood to leave, but was stopped by Jongin who decided who better to ask than the man before him. “Luhan said something strange to me before… this. He said ‘it’s me’, what did that mean?”_

_“Oh, you weren’t briefed about that?” the man turned. “I thought it was common knowledge for our customers- did you forget? The A.I. 0.013 models are made from humans,” he explained. “Well, that is, the brain and brain stem are harvested and wired into the androids to give them a more authentic human experience. He is one of the finer products we’ve made- his personality and looks are very similar to the real thing, aren’t they? Don’t worry, when we bring him back, he’ll be as good as new.”_

_“You can’t… Don’t treat him like a product. He’s not… He’s Luhan,” Jongin found himself saying. “He’s alive, he’s in there. I know it.”_

_“Of course he is,” the man smiled at him pityingly before leaving._

Jongin waited for three whole days before the machine was brought back to his residence. The worker booted Luhan up and left the room as Jongin requested so that he could see it for himself.

Luhan’s eyes opened, and he smiled. “Hello, My name is Luhan, I am an A.I. 0.013, and I am here to-“

“I’m sorry, Luhan,” Jongin blurted. “I’m so sorry. Everything. It’s all my fault, please forgive me. Don’t leave me again. Please.”

“Jongin? What…” Luhan looked confused as the boy beckoned him over and hugged him. “I…” his gaze softened as he felt the heat from Jongin’s body begin to warm his cool skin. He couldn’t bring himself to tell the boy that he didn’t understand the apology nor did he truly understand the sudden burst of affection, but there was something familiar about it, something that, although he didn’t remember the detail, he felt as if he’d been there before.

“I’m scared of being alone. Please… don’t leave me again.”

Luhan pulled Jongin into his arms, a faint memory lingering on his fingertips as he brushed them across the boy’s shoulders. One day, he hoped, he would remember exactly why it was when he touched the boy he felt a sense of elation despite having an electronic core.

“You don’t have to be scared, Jongin. I’m here.”

**Author's Note:**

> for parkourdeer for the deerofdawn exchange


End file.
